You Can Bank On It

It was high time to get serious about our finances and retirement and buying my $1 a week lottery ticket just wasn't cutting it, so this time, I doubled my purchase and waited impatiently. (Darn! Missed it by only 6 numbers) Janet then said that we ought to try a Dave Ramsey course on finances. Finally, a way to save and achieve wealth. (now I could quadruple my chances)

So we signed up for the course at church. It's titled "Financial Peace University" It was a great price at $20, regularly $93. (but wait, if you buy now, you'll receive the best selling book "Quadruple Your Lottery Chances") The first lesson was to save $1,000 for an emergency fund. We were able to get almost $100 saved right away, mostly in pennies, (check those couches) so off to the bank we went to open an emergency savings account.

We decided to use Janet's bank to open our account. She likes the friendly service and free stuff. She's lending the bank her money, so she deserves the key chains, coin holders & pencils.(stocking stuffers) The security guard opened the door for us, as our hands were laden with bags of pennies and we walked up to the teller window and Janet said that we would like to open a savings account. The teller said "Oh, I'm sorry! This window is closed, but you could step over to the next window, someone will be right with you." So we went to the next window and the teller stepped over and said "Good afternoon! My name is Michelle. How may I help you?" Janet said "As I was saying to you at the other window, we would like to open a savings account." "Oh! I'm sorry! That's set up at the desk behind you. If you take a seat on one of our very comfortable chairs, someone will be right with you.


We settled down in the chairs and used the bags of pennies as foot stools. Janet didn't think the chairs were comfortable, but then, she's used to just laying back on couches with her feet up. (That's how I get most of my coins) As I read the only magazine, Janet was busy with her Christmas shopping. (every year it's the same thing....a key chain) It didn't seem to busy, but everyone was doing things. One teller was categorizing her silly bands (I think she shoots them at little kids when she's out of lolly-pops) and the guard was busy opening and shutting the door (checking for squeaks) There was some excitement when a man entered the bank wearing this "Freddie - Nightmare on Elm St." type face and the guard confronted him and said "Sir, you have to remove the mask!" and the guy said "What mask?"

Finally Michelle came over and asked "Hello, have you been helped?" Janet said "As I said over at the teller window, we'd like to open a savings account." Oh! I'm sorry! Marlene isn't here today, maybe I can help!" She asked what type of account we wanted. The regular savings account, the Money Market or the stuffed mattress! I asked which would give us the better return on our money and she giggled uncontrollably.

Janet was a current customer so she was ok, but I needed to provide proof I.D., thumb print, hair sample and drawn blood. (Oh great! I've lost my wallet, am a double amputee, bald and anemic) Luckily, I had a note from my mother. Then when Michelle had trouble with the computer, she said that it could be awhile ( I'm reminded of scripture saying "With the Lord a day is like a thousand years and a thousand years are like a day) I suggested that maybe we go shopping while waiting (I mean...we had a 100 bucks) or maybe paint the house.

We arrived back with Janet wearing her new Sketchers and I had a bag of army men(Hallie's school project) and was told that the computer still wasn't up. Michelle apologized repeatedly for the delay and said she would call someone. She got on the phone and called the President of the bank demanding that something be done or he would be $100 short on his country club dues. He said he would take care of it. (Does he have proper I.D. or a note from his mother?)

Michelle saved the day for us and we left with our account set up and a purse full of free goodies. I called the bank president myself and asked why they had such a crappy computer program. "Doesn't this bank have enough money for good computer programs" He replied "Well...we did get bail-out money, but the board voted on a way to quadruple our chances on making more.