It's been some time since I've had to go car shopping with my daughters. Some dad's really enjoy this, but not me.( I know it's gonna cost me) Plus I'm not really mechanically inclined, so I don't hear that ping or whirl or knock in the engine that others hear(Ya hear that?....sounds like the tag light could go out any time now) and then I'm responsible for letting them buy a clunker.
So I was pretty happy when Felice's boyfriend said he was going to find a car for her to buy(Oh boy! Oh boy! Oh boy!) and he found one to look at in Dallas, Tx.(bear with me, there is one in North Carolina) and he wanted to know if I wanted to come along. (he wanted to impress me on his pinging analysis) Sure, why not! It would give me a chance to impress him on what a great in-law I could be. (Then Janet would say "Pete, you have to till the soil for my garden" and I can call Dan and say "Can you give me a hand with the garden. I would do it, but my heart isn't what it used to be, (it makes a pinging noise) but if you can't, that's all right. I've had a good life and Felice will just have to go on without me) (Poor thing) (and I hope Janet will eventually forgive you)
So he picked me up at the ungodly hour of 6am. This was a good time work on my GPS (general pinging symptom), because I'm always getting lost. So I set it for Dallas, TX. and it said "Go straight until you get there" and off we went.
After 15 minutes on the road we were ready for a break(at this rate Dallas was just days away), so we pulled(yes, I had my hand on the steering wheel also) into the service island on the turnpike and while Dan gassed up (2 miles to the gallon) I went in to get snacks, as I can't go on a road trip without totally trashing a car with sunflower seeds, popcorn and spilled drinks. (to my wife's and now Dan's dismay)
I did have one problem. I had lost some weight and now had to cinch up my belt a couple of notches more as my pants could fall down....and they did. I had gone to the restroom and had not cinched the proper notch, so I was standing in a long line with my arms full of much needed trashing supplies, my pants started slipping down. I needed to put my stash on the counter to pull up my pants, but the woman in front of me had the counter filled (she had a bigger car trashing compulsion than mine) and she was asking for directions. (You're on the turnpike for God's sake!! Just go straight!) The only way to keep my pants up was to spread my legs and I was sweating bullets as I was only inches away from completing a Chinese split. Finally she was done and apologized for holding up the line, but she had to find to a service station, as there was a pinging noise coming from her engine.
So we made it to Dallas and met the guy with the car.( I don't remember the model or the color) (same with the car) So with arms properly folded across our chest, we walked around the car, occasionally stopping, giving a quizzical look or nodding. Then we stopped in front of the open hood and Dan asked "Hear that?" and I nodded (Yep! Better check that tag light)
Then we went for the test drive. I sat in the back seat and the ripped up upholstery led me to ask "Do you have a dog?" (or is the woman now in the trunk?)
So now comes the negotiating. Dan asked "So you're asking $5,000?"(and do you know I don't intend to pay more than half of blue book?) and the guy says "Oh, I think that's fair. I put a lot of money into fixing it up(most of it in removing the blood stains from the trunk carpet) and I can get rid of that pinging noise. (probably had a spare tag light in his pocket)
So the deal was not made and we headed back home. (I set my GPS and it said "Go straight back the way you came.") Dan apologized for wasting my day(my whole day was planned out for napping and watching TV) and he bought me dinner. (I love this guy) and eventually he found a car for Felice (about 2 blocks from where she lives) and she brought it over and gave us all a ride in her convertible and Hallie asked "What's that pinging noise?"
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Fix it ticket
Annie & Janet came home from gymnastic class (Janet was the driver) a few weeks back and Annie called everyone into the living room for a big announcement. She had a big smile on her face as we all gathered around wondering if maybe she had made the 2012 Olympic team. (She had been working very hard on pointing her toes.) Then with a "ta...daaa!!!" she pulled a paper from behind her back and joyfully announced "Granma got a ticket!!!
I was crestfallen (I love that word) as we had so many tickets in the last few years that the city was finally able to afford new parking lot construction at city hall. But, thankfully it was only a fix-it ticket for a burned-out headlight. Wait a second....why should I be thankful for any kind of ticket. It was still going to cost. I was crestfallen.
I said to Janet that it was at least not going to cost that much, as the last time I had a bulb replaced it was only $16. Yeah, I had to work in Springfield, MO. a couple of years ago and had to get a bulb replaced and it was only $26 at Pep Boys. I was in shock, because I had to work and because the last time that I had a bulb replaced (it was back in the 80's) it cost $96. I was so pleased(happy, joyful, ecstatic, enraptured...all those emotions I get when I think of something like the birth of my child or savings) to see the price had fallen.(Volume selling) So a year later ( it's becoming a tradition) when I had to replace a bulb, I was by an NTB store and I pulled in and when it came time to pay, I pulled out a couple of crisp $20's and the clerk said " That'll be $16."
Wow! Now I was ready to die ( as soon as the Cubbies win the World Series) The price had dropped another $10 in just a year. Someone had discovered a way to make a cheaper light bulb. I had such a huge smile on my face and crestfallen or not this was the best day of my life (closely followed by the birth of my child)
I cheerfully drove to NTB (the same store) walked in and asked that a bulb be replaced. The clerk starts typing into his computer and I'm thinking that the price is probably down to $6 and maybe I'll just throw in a little tip. (never mind...I was getting carried away with enrapture)
He muttered "wow" and I thought "It's so low that I can probably pay for it with the change in my ashtray." That'll be $123!" (and he said it with a straight face) I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I was in shock. "That's absolutely ridiculous!" I said in my most shocked and crestfallen voice. It sounded like this "That's absolutely ridiculous!" Now you say it.
"How can it be $123, when last year it was only $16." I crestfallenly said. "You probably keyed in the wrong part number!" "No" he said "this is the right number." and he turned his computer screen to show me.(I thought that I had all the GM part numbers memorized, but this one eluded me) (I also suspected that this was how GM's bailout money was being repaid)
I walked out in a fit of good taste and drove home, got on the phone and called Pep Boys, but the phone had been disconnected and I was told they had closed.(Never sell your stuff too low!) Then I called Pfaff Motors ( There you go Troy..free advertising)( For the best deal in town go see Troy! For the best cars around go see Troy! If you want a car or truck and not having any luck, go see Troy! Go see Troy! Go see Troy!)(Hum the jingle like this....hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm! Hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm! Hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm, hmm hmm hmm!Hmm hmm hmm! Hmm hmm hmm!) The Service Manager said "Oh about $30." It wasn't $16, but it wasn't $123. Also Pfaff Motors used to be Pfaff Chevrolet (They probably took away his dealership when he refused to mark up his bulbs) and now Troy has a loyal customer or at least until I can find bulb replacements cheaper. I hope he doesn't get crestfallen.
I was crestfallen (I love that word) as we had so many tickets in the last few years that the city was finally able to afford new parking lot construction at city hall. But, thankfully it was only a fix-it ticket for a burned-out headlight. Wait a second....why should I be thankful for any kind of ticket. It was still going to cost. I was crestfallen.
I said to Janet that it was at least not going to cost that much, as the last time I had a bulb replaced it was only $16. Yeah, I had to work in Springfield, MO. a couple of years ago and had to get a bulb replaced and it was only $26 at Pep Boys. I was in shock, because I had to work and because the last time that I had a bulb replaced (it was back in the 80's) it cost $96. I was so pleased(happy, joyful, ecstatic, enraptured...all those emotions I get when I think of something like the birth of my child or savings) to see the price had fallen.(Volume selling) So a year later ( it's becoming a tradition) when I had to replace a bulb, I was by an NTB store and I pulled in and when it came time to pay, I pulled out a couple of crisp $20's and the clerk said " That'll be $16."
Wow! Now I was ready to die ( as soon as the Cubbies win the World Series) The price had dropped another $10 in just a year. Someone had discovered a way to make a cheaper light bulb. I had such a huge smile on my face and crestfallen or not this was the best day of my life (closely followed by the birth of my child)
I cheerfully drove to NTB (the same store) walked in and asked that a bulb be replaced. The clerk starts typing into his computer and I'm thinking that the price is probably down to $6 and maybe I'll just throw in a little tip. (never mind...I was getting carried away with enrapture)
He muttered "wow" and I thought "It's so low that I can probably pay for it with the change in my ashtray." That'll be $123!" (and he said it with a straight face) I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I was in shock. "That's absolutely ridiculous!" I said in my most shocked and crestfallen voice. It sounded like this "That's absolutely ridiculous!" Now you say it.
"How can it be $123, when last year it was only $16." I crestfallenly said. "You probably keyed in the wrong part number!" "No" he said "this is the right number." and he turned his computer screen to show me.(I thought that I had all the GM part numbers memorized, but this one eluded me) (I also suspected that this was how GM's bailout money was being repaid)
I walked out in a fit of good taste and drove home, got on the phone and called Pep Boys, but the phone had been disconnected and I was told they had closed.(Never sell your stuff too low!) Then I called Pfaff Motors ( There you go Troy..free advertising)( For the best deal in town go see Troy! For the best cars around go see Troy! If you want a car or truck and not having any luck, go see Troy! Go see Troy! Go see Troy!)(Hum the jingle like this....hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm! Hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm! Hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm, hmm hmm hmm!Hmm hmm hmm! Hmm hmm hmm!) The Service Manager said "Oh about $30." It wasn't $16, but it wasn't $123. Also Pfaff Motors used to be Pfaff Chevrolet (They probably took away his dealership when he refused to mark up his bulbs) and now Troy has a loyal customer or at least until I can find bulb replacements cheaper. I hope he doesn't get crestfallen.
Friday, February 11, 2011
Happy New Year!!!
Some people will do anything to get out of work. The owner of the company I work for phoned me on the 29th and wanted me in OK City, on New Years day, at 6am to help process and train new employees at our newest account.(Translation: The District Manager in that area hired a bunch of Mexicans and doesn't speak Spanish) That meant that I would have to leave about 3:30am ( or more likely 2:30, as I have a habit of getting lost) This is not what I signed up for and apparently my boss had not read my resume', which stated that I like partying on New Years Eve, watching the ball drop at 11pm and giving my wife her yearly kiss. (whether she needs it or not)
So anyway, I had to make a final visit for the week at my biggest account( and if you're reading this; my FAVORITE account) and was heading home ( to sleep) when I had this heavy, painful sensation in my chest. I thought "I can't be having a heart attack! I haven't had a pork chop in months!"
When I get home I tell Janet that something is wrong and she tells me to lay down for awhile because dinner is almost ready and we're having pork chops (my favorite).
When it comes to my health, the women in my life have their own unique views. Amy will very professionally review my chart (yeah that's right. She carries it with her where ever she goes.) and will give me several options on what to do. Felice and Robin will bring out the crash cart when I sneeze and Sabrina will ask to borrow money, in the event I'm not capable later on, and Janet always needs a little more convincing. (The doctor will say "I'm sorry Mrs. Camargo, but he's brain dead." She'll say "Yeah....well.....he does that a lot.") So she starts feeding me Rolaids until I'm foaming at the mouth and when that doesn't work she gives me baby aspirin (and the pork chops are getting colder and colder)
Finally she decides to take me to the hospital after looking at the Groupon website to see if the hospital had some kind of discount. (Baby Aspirin: bring your own and save $20 a pill!!) We drop the kids off at Amy's, where the party is being held and off we go.
In the back of my mind I thinking that I just pulled some kind of muscle and I'm dreading going to the ER and being told that is what happened and to just take baby aspirin and that will be $4,000 please. But, the EKG showed something wrong and since the X-ray also showed that I carried American Express in my wallet, the doctor ordered another EKG (Hold the pork chops)
I don't have much experience with hospitals or medical procedures, so when the pretty nurse came over to my bed and started to slowly unbutton my shirt with my wife sitting there, I thought "Wow!! Just like in those movies." Then the nurse said "Oh! You have nice looking veins!" I thought "Oh! Just like in those vampire movies." Then she stuck a needle in both my arms to draw blood and put some patches on my chest, making sure to cover as much chest hair as possible.
To make a long story even longer, I ended the year watching the movie, Nemo, and answering phone calls from Felice and Robin (Felice had a $5 bet on a trivial pursuit question and if I was going to die, she should at least benefit) and giving my wife her new years kiss (tasted like pork chops)
I was diagnosed with Paricarditis (look it up..I can't even pronounce it) and told to get plenty of rest for the next 30 days. I called my boss and told him that I wouldn't be able to make it to OK, but that I could send a Rosetta Stone Spanish learning CD.
So anyway, I had to make a final visit for the week at my biggest account( and if you're reading this; my FAVORITE account) and was heading home ( to sleep) when I had this heavy, painful sensation in my chest. I thought "I can't be having a heart attack! I haven't had a pork chop in months!"
When I get home I tell Janet that something is wrong and she tells me to lay down for awhile because dinner is almost ready and we're having pork chops (my favorite).
When it comes to my health, the women in my life have their own unique views. Amy will very professionally review my chart (yeah that's right. She carries it with her where ever she goes.) and will give me several options on what to do. Felice and Robin will bring out the crash cart when I sneeze and Sabrina will ask to borrow money, in the event I'm not capable later on, and Janet always needs a little more convincing. (The doctor will say "I'm sorry Mrs. Camargo, but he's brain dead." She'll say "Yeah....well.....he does that a lot.") So she starts feeding me Rolaids until I'm foaming at the mouth and when that doesn't work she gives me baby aspirin (and the pork chops are getting colder and colder)
Finally she decides to take me to the hospital after looking at the Groupon website to see if the hospital had some kind of discount. (Baby Aspirin: bring your own and save $20 a pill!!) We drop the kids off at Amy's, where the party is being held and off we go.
In the back of my mind I thinking that I just pulled some kind of muscle and I'm dreading going to the ER and being told that is what happened and to just take baby aspirin and that will be $4,000 please. But, the EKG showed something wrong and since the X-ray also showed that I carried American Express in my wallet, the doctor ordered another EKG (Hold the pork chops)
I don't have much experience with hospitals or medical procedures, so when the pretty nurse came over to my bed and started to slowly unbutton my shirt with my wife sitting there, I thought "Wow!! Just like in those movies." Then the nurse said "Oh! You have nice looking veins!" I thought "Oh! Just like in those vampire movies." Then she stuck a needle in both my arms to draw blood and put some patches on my chest, making sure to cover as much chest hair as possible.
To make a long story even longer, I ended the year watching the movie, Nemo, and answering phone calls from Felice and Robin (Felice had a $5 bet on a trivial pursuit question and if I was going to die, she should at least benefit) and giving my wife her new years kiss (tasted like pork chops)
I was diagnosed with Paricarditis (look it up..I can't even pronounce it) and told to get plenty of rest for the next 30 days. I called my boss and told him that I wouldn't be able to make it to OK, but that I could send a Rosetta Stone Spanish learning CD.
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