I was headed from Garden City to Hutchinson, minding my own business at 80 mph on a 65mph highway, when I passed a Highway Patrol dude, who was driving in front of the slow moving truck(65mph). How sneaky! Hiding in front of a moving vehicle.
As I was passing, he put his doughnut on his index finger and motioned for me to pull over. I sped up to get in front and pulled over to the shoulder. After parking behind me for 10 minutes(had to finish his doughnut) he got out and strolled over to my car. "Do you know why I pulled you over?" he asked. "You go first" I answered "you might have a lesser offense!" Then he asked why I was in such a hurry. I told him that I had a new hire prospect to interview and he said that was no reason to put my life at risk. (apparently he never had to clean toilets) So he wrote out a ticket, which would cost me about $140 and I was on my way.
The interviewee never showed, so I ended up cleaning toilets.(yeah, that's right! I would have hired him anyway because he had a pulse) Lucky for me there was a plasma center close by and I was able to land a quality employee that had reached his donation limit.
I thought about fighting the ticket with a trick I pulled at one time, but I thought that I may be pushing my luck. About 10 years ago, I was ticketed for doing 65 in a 40 entering Harper, KS. I decided that I would fight the ticket( not that I was innocent, but maybe the cop would go into a diabetic coma from too many doughnuts and not show up in court.)
I drove to Anthony, where the county courthouse is located, the next day to meet with the judge at 6pm. (no joke. Maybe her day job was at "Dunkin Donuts") I could'nt find the court house, so I stopped at the fire station and was told that it was at the Library. The fireman said I should go on in and wait for the judge to show up(after she cleaned out the deep fat fryer) At about 6:05 pm the Judge arrived, we introduced ourselves and went into her office. She informed me that I would not win my case(It's uncanny how she would know this) if I chose to fight and would be better off to pay $90 to enroll into the Diversion Program. If I received no further tickets(fat chance) the violation would not go on my record. I told her that I would fight it and she set court to be held in 10 days. But, if I changed my mind, I could call the county prosecuter to enter diversion.
Well the 10th day came and I had forgotten all about driving to Anthony and there was no way that I would make it there before the doughnut shop closed. So I called the prosecuters office and told the attorney that I would like to enroll in the diversion program. He said that he would be glad not to have to go to the library on a Friday night and miss happy hour at the Mugs and Jugs Tavern. All I had to do was to mail back the form that he would send to me along with a check for $90(but wait! there's more if I act now) I said that court would be in 1 hour and that I was worried about an arrest warrant being issued for not showing up. "Oh, don't worry your handsome little head on that!" he said "If you don't show up and I don't show up, then the judge will simply tear the ticket up!" (and the cop will be furious that he missed happy hour)
So when the form arrived a few days later I said to myself "He didn't show up. I didn't show up. Cop was left with crime scene folders on his lap and the judge has torn up the ticket." So I tore up the form, pocketed my $90 lived happily ever after. (Though, sometimes I awaken in a cold sweat, from a bad dream, where a janitor is moving the file cabinets in the judges office, sees a yellowish paper that has fallen behind and says "What's this?"
I
Monday, October 19, 2009
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Company Business
My company had me drive to Ponca City, OK for our annual business meeting at the Holiday Inn. We used to meet in OK City but the office had been moved to another location and there was no conference room at the new place.(The back room of produce warehouse, under the stairs)(the office now consist of a folding card table and chairs and a dangling 100 watt light bulb)
Our boss reminded us that we had lost some accounts because of the economy and it was now time to tighten our belts. (did this mean that I would be sharing a room and a king sized bed, with a hairy, fat guy, in a speedo)
Actually, sharing a bed with any guy would not be something I would look forward to. Does this mean that I"m a homophobe? Absolutely not. I tested myself by imagining being in bed with Kandi and Connie. (two lesbians working as Hooters Girls) (nope, I felt comfortable)
The owner talked about all the great things that were coming down the pike, like the new businesses in contract talks and new incentives for our employees and new product lines that would have people breaking down our doors. (just like the company where I used to work before the bottom fell out.)
Anyways, I was given my bonus check and I felt that at least this guy has always been honest with me and good to me. I have 6 specific goals that I have to reach(like answer my phone calls) and every quarter I am given 25% of my bonus, with no taxes deducted and an extra $500 before Christmas. The last company I worked for was the same incentive plan, but I was paid the bonus once a year in December and you never knew until the last minute how much it would be. Generally, the VP would find something he didn't like (you didn't say "Mother may I!") and it would be cut in half and then there was a 50% tax deduction and the Christmas bonus would be like $150 minus taxes.(At Christmas, Janet would be like "Oh honey! Thank you for this wonderful snow globe from Dollar Tree!) Now, when Janet opens up her Christmas gift, she's like "Oh honey! Thank you for this wonderful snow globe from Dollar General!" (I tend to be thrifty)
Our boss reminded us that we had lost some accounts because of the economy and it was now time to tighten our belts. (did this mean that I would be sharing a room and a king sized bed, with a hairy, fat guy, in a speedo)
Actually, sharing a bed with any guy would not be something I would look forward to. Does this mean that I"m a homophobe? Absolutely not. I tested myself by imagining being in bed with Kandi and Connie. (two lesbians working as Hooters Girls) (nope, I felt comfortable)
The owner talked about all the great things that were coming down the pike, like the new businesses in contract talks and new incentives for our employees and new product lines that would have people breaking down our doors. (just like the company where I used to work before the bottom fell out.)
Anyways, I was given my bonus check and I felt that at least this guy has always been honest with me and good to me. I have 6 specific goals that I have to reach(like answer my phone calls) and every quarter I am given 25% of my bonus, with no taxes deducted and an extra $500 before Christmas. The last company I worked for was the same incentive plan, but I was paid the bonus once a year in December and you never knew until the last minute how much it would be. Generally, the VP would find something he didn't like (you didn't say "Mother may I!") and it would be cut in half and then there was a 50% tax deduction and the Christmas bonus would be like $150 minus taxes.(At Christmas, Janet would be like "Oh honey! Thank you for this wonderful snow globe from Dollar Tree!) Now, when Janet opens up her Christmas gift, she's like "Oh honey! Thank you for this wonderful snow globe from Dollar General!" (I tend to be thrifty)
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Love in the workplace
Had to make a trip to Pittsburg, KS this week. This is home to one of my best accounts.(for my other accounts that might be reading this....You know I really love you more!)
The manager loves our company and the people that work for us. There are never complaints and only praises. He says that all companies should have people like this.(they do) The issues have to do with the two women that work for me. They love their job. They love me. ( I mean, would someone tell someone that they loved them if it weren't true?) They hate each other. They can't stand each other. They will eventually have a true crime book written about the murder of one of them.
"R" only speaks spanish only and "J" only english. (this has the makings of one of those logic riddles) Actually, I think that they are bi-lingual(not that it's my business what people do in their own home) but, this gives them reason to ignore, be uncooporative and insult each other.
R will tell me that she supects that J has put sugar in her gas tank. I will tell J that R says someone put sugar in her gas tank and J will say "She'll probably blame me." J will say that R is lazy and not pulling her weight and when I tell R that we are expected to work our fair share, she'll say "Dejara de llegar ella tarde y saliendo temprano?" (I think that means -I really do love you!)
So, I had this come to Jesus talk with them and there were insults thrown about, "Fat pig!" "Lazy pig!" "Stupid pig!" (and then they started in on each other) I was able to make some head way by agreeing to lose weight, be productive and knowledgeable and they agreed to give me exclusive rights to the murder story.
The manager loves our company and the people that work for us. There are never complaints and only praises. He says that all companies should have people like this.(they do) The issues have to do with the two women that work for me. They love their job. They love me. ( I mean, would someone tell someone that they loved them if it weren't true?) They hate each other. They can't stand each other. They will eventually have a true crime book written about the murder of one of them.
"R" only speaks spanish only and "J" only english. (this has the makings of one of those logic riddles) Actually, I think that they are bi-lingual(not that it's my business what people do in their own home) but, this gives them reason to ignore, be uncooporative and insult each other.
R will tell me that she supects that J has put sugar in her gas tank. I will tell J that R says someone put sugar in her gas tank and J will say "She'll probably blame me." J will say that R is lazy and not pulling her weight and when I tell R that we are expected to work our fair share, she'll say "Dejara de llegar ella tarde y saliendo temprano?" (I think that means -I really do love you!)
So, I had this come to Jesus talk with them and there were insults thrown about, "Fat pig!" "Lazy pig!" "Stupid pig!" (and then they started in on each other) I was able to make some head way by agreeing to lose weight, be productive and knowledgeable and they agreed to give me exclusive rights to the murder story.
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Co-worker reunion
I had quite the surprise of running into an ex co-worker this last week.(glad I'm insured) I hadn't seen Ronda in over a year. I truly enjoy visiting and B.S.ing with people and to do it while we were both on the clock made it that much more enjoyable. She is one of my favorite people.
She, along with Janet and I, were laid off on the same day after many years of hard working, dedicated, loyal & faithful service to the company. (OK, she & Janet were. I was laid off after many years of service to me)
The three of us had lunch later at El Mexico restaurant. We used to lunch there quite a bit. They always made fun of me for only ordering huevos rancheros. (my friends laughed at me when I said that I could order in spanish, but when the waiter came, I simply said "Huevos Rancheros) I invited her husband to join us(hoping that he would pick up the tab) but, he had a conference call and didn't realize that his cell phone was cordless.
So, anyway, we caught each other up with our lives. Janet is in line to be laid off again,(after a year of hard working, dedicated, loyal & faithful service)(when will she learn) Ronda is back in the same business she was laid off from, but with a different company(when will she learn) and I am back to wondering if I really have a legitimate job.
Here's a typical work day for me. I'll get about three 1 minute calls sometime between midnight and 3am from employees asking important questions like "If the buildings on fire is it my responsibility to call 911?" Then I get about 2 automated calls a day around 8am, because someone forgot to clock in and I have to call them to make sure they showed up to work. If they didn't show up, I can't do anything about it because it could be a 5 hour drive to get there and there would be nothing I could do. Then sometime between 9:30 am and 5pm I spend a half hour on the computer filling out the time sheet. Then sometime between 12 noon and 11pm I telephone an account to speak with the management about issues or concerns. And I can do this all in my tattered bath robe & bunny slippers, sitting in my recliner, unshaven, drinking my Folgers coffee, making the same money that I was making at my old job. (I did learn)
She, along with Janet and I, were laid off on the same day after many years of hard working, dedicated, loyal & faithful service to the company. (OK, she & Janet were. I was laid off after many years of service to me)
The three of us had lunch later at El Mexico restaurant. We used to lunch there quite a bit. They always made fun of me for only ordering huevos rancheros. (my friends laughed at me when I said that I could order in spanish, but when the waiter came, I simply said "Huevos Rancheros) I invited her husband to join us(hoping that he would pick up the tab) but, he had a conference call and didn't realize that his cell phone was cordless.
So, anyway, we caught each other up with our lives. Janet is in line to be laid off again,(after a year of hard working, dedicated, loyal & faithful service)(when will she learn) Ronda is back in the same business she was laid off from, but with a different company(when will she learn) and I am back to wondering if I really have a legitimate job.
Here's a typical work day for me. I'll get about three 1 minute calls sometime between midnight and 3am from employees asking important questions like "If the buildings on fire is it my responsibility to call 911?" Then I get about 2 automated calls a day around 8am, because someone forgot to clock in and I have to call them to make sure they showed up to work. If they didn't show up, I can't do anything about it because it could be a 5 hour drive to get there and there would be nothing I could do. Then sometime between 9:30 am and 5pm I spend a half hour on the computer filling out the time sheet. Then sometime between 12 noon and 11pm I telephone an account to speak with the management about issues or concerns. And I can do this all in my tattered bath robe & bunny slippers, sitting in my recliner, unshaven, drinking my Folgers coffee, making the same money that I was making at my old job. (I did learn)
Saturday, September 5, 2009
The Laundry Mat
When it came down to using the "quicker picker upper" paper towels to dry off after a shower, I decided that laundry had been put off long enough. Janet was out of town on business and so that duty falls to me. There was enough laundry to fill a small U-Haul trailer. Doing it at home, with 1 washer and dryer, would take approximately 1 month to finish, so I packed up the twins and we headed off to the "Lost Sock II" laundry mat. (Why does a company call itself that. Can you imagine McDonalds, McDonalds II, McDonalds III, McDonalds IV, McDonalds MMMMCCCXXIX)
The twins love going to the laundry mat. They love the vending machines, pinball machines and of course "The Claw." You can tell that Hallie will have a huge gambling addiction as she can't walk away from the claw machine after not being able to capture the Panda Bear. ("Please PaPa, I just need 2 more quarters and I know I can win.")
We stop at the ATM to withdraw about $200 and I hope that will be enough. It's expensive! I mean, I need about 15 regular washers and a couple of those giant load washers. (and, of course, I like the claw machine too.)("You're going down, Panda Bear!")
It's crowded and I can't get the washers I need in one spot, so I'm scattered thru-out the laundry mat. I mark which are mine by placing baskets, detergent bottles, dryer sheets and lost socks on top. Then I go to the change machine and put in my twenties and it's like Vegas, with the clanging of quarters falling. I expect to see lights flashing and sirens blaring, like with a $1,000,000 slot machine.
Annie and Hallie have their gourmet snacks from the vending machine (mmmm.....stale pretzels and RC Cola) and they"re off, $1 in hand, to challange the "Claw." I know that Annie will be back shortly with an attitude of "Oh Well. You can't win 'em all." ("But, can I have another $1 to buy stale gourmet cheese crackers?") I'm worried, though, that Hallie may be hustling others for spare change. But, she comes running back with an orange duck, excited that she won it on her first try. (I'm excited too, because that saves me about twenty bucks.)
Now Annie is sad because she did'nt win a stuffed animal. Hallie says "I'll get one for you. I just prayed to Jesus to let me win and he did. I'll just say another prayer, so that you can win one too." I try to play down their expectations. "Look creating a universe with life is one thing, but winning a stuffed Panda Bear?"
So after taking out our laundry from the dryers and kinda folding them, we headed back home with our 3 tons of clean laundry, an orange duck and a Panda Bear(that Hallie won on her first try!!)
The twins love going to the laundry mat. They love the vending machines, pinball machines and of course "The Claw." You can tell that Hallie will have a huge gambling addiction as she can't walk away from the claw machine after not being able to capture the Panda Bear. ("Please PaPa, I just need 2 more quarters and I know I can win.")
We stop at the ATM to withdraw about $200 and I hope that will be enough. It's expensive! I mean, I need about 15 regular washers and a couple of those giant load washers. (and, of course, I like the claw machine too.)("You're going down, Panda Bear!")
It's crowded and I can't get the washers I need in one spot, so I'm scattered thru-out the laundry mat. I mark which are mine by placing baskets, detergent bottles, dryer sheets and lost socks on top. Then I go to the change machine and put in my twenties and it's like Vegas, with the clanging of quarters falling. I expect to see lights flashing and sirens blaring, like with a $1,000,000 slot machine.
Annie and Hallie have their gourmet snacks from the vending machine (mmmm.....stale pretzels and RC Cola) and they"re off, $1 in hand, to challange the "Claw." I know that Annie will be back shortly with an attitude of "Oh Well. You can't win 'em all." ("But, can I have another $1 to buy stale gourmet cheese crackers?") I'm worried, though, that Hallie may be hustling others for spare change. But, she comes running back with an orange duck, excited that she won it on her first try. (I'm excited too, because that saves me about twenty bucks.)
Now Annie is sad because she did'nt win a stuffed animal. Hallie says "I'll get one for you. I just prayed to Jesus to let me win and he did. I'll just say another prayer, so that you can win one too." I try to play down their expectations. "Look creating a universe with life is one thing, but winning a stuffed Panda Bear?"
So after taking out our laundry from the dryers and kinda folding them, we headed back home with our 3 tons of clean laundry, an orange duck and a Panda Bear(that Hallie won on her first try!!)
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Back to school
Well, Annie and Hallie are back to school (2nd grade)and I was looking forward to being home all day,sleeping till noon, but now Janet has started traveling out of town for her job, leaving me to get the kids ready for school. I always ask if they would like to sleep an extra 5 minutes and, of course, they nod yes and then I go back to bed for 15 minutes. (sometimes it's 30 minutes and then we're running to the bus stop with their shoes untied and that rubber band thing losing it's grip on their pony-tails and falling off and then I have to use my fingers as a comb.)
Janet and I are so opposite in that she is a process person and I am a result person. ( well, she looks for results thru the process and I don't like to get muddled down in details.) If there was a fire in a building she would not panic and calmly walk down the stairs in an orderly fashion. I would slide down the bannister. So with geeting (I meant getting, but sometimes my mexican accent comes out) the kids ready for school, I will lift them out of bed and carry them to the couch, with a pillow and blanket. I will let them eat breakfast on the couch and sometimes they do spill food. (Cleaning tip: Stains on the couch can easily be hid by turning the cushion over) And, I let them pick out the clothes they want to wear. Janet sometimes complains about what I let them wear to school, but I say "If the clothes fit, you must acquit"( though sometimes the pants are 3 inches above the ankles) So, that means I get them to school with no drama.
Janet gets the kids up like a marine drill sargeant on steroids. "You have 5 minutes to get up, get dressed and be at the table to eat breakfast. 5 minutes are up. Drop and give me 20." Then she puts the girls hair up with that rubber band thing and I can only do it 3 times before my finger gets trapped and starts to turn blue, but she twists those things around about 30 times untils the hair strands are turning blue.
I work from home (I still find it hard to believe this is a real job) and am able to be here when the school bus arrives. We then start on home work. Now, I repeated 2nd grade so you would think that I would twice as smart at 2nd grade math but, they are constantly telling me that I'm doing it wrong. (then why do you need my help) Then I have to listen to them read for 15 minutes.(which in adult time is 2 hours) "The (sound it out) bu...bu...bu... (sound it out) oh...oh...oh....(sound it out) ee...ee...ee... boy said"( haven't figured out how to sound that out)
Janet and I are so opposite in that she is a process person and I am a result person. ( well, she looks for results thru the process and I don't like to get muddled down in details.) If there was a fire in a building she would not panic and calmly walk down the stairs in an orderly fashion. I would slide down the bannister. So with geeting (I meant getting, but sometimes my mexican accent comes out) the kids ready for school, I will lift them out of bed and carry them to the couch, with a pillow and blanket. I will let them eat breakfast on the couch and sometimes they do spill food. (Cleaning tip: Stains on the couch can easily be hid by turning the cushion over) And, I let them pick out the clothes they want to wear. Janet sometimes complains about what I let them wear to school, but I say "If the clothes fit, you must acquit"( though sometimes the pants are 3 inches above the ankles) So, that means I get them to school with no drama.
Janet gets the kids up like a marine drill sargeant on steroids. "You have 5 minutes to get up, get dressed and be at the table to eat breakfast. 5 minutes are up. Drop and give me 20." Then she puts the girls hair up with that rubber band thing and I can only do it 3 times before my finger gets trapped and starts to turn blue, but she twists those things around about 30 times untils the hair strands are turning blue.
I work from home (I still find it hard to believe this is a real job) and am able to be here when the school bus arrives. We then start on home work. Now, I repeated 2nd grade so you would think that I would twice as smart at 2nd grade math but, they are constantly telling me that I'm doing it wrong. (then why do you need my help) Then I have to listen to them read for 15 minutes.(which in adult time is 2 hours) "The (sound it out) bu...bu...bu... (sound it out) oh...oh...oh....(sound it out) ee...ee...ee... boy said"( haven't figured out how to sound that out)
Saturday, August 1, 2009
Getting caught up
Wow! Two months behind. I do have a lap top when I travel, but the atmosphere and motivation for writing is missing. (Yeah honey, I'd love to mow the lawn, but I have my blog to write) What started out as an easy no-brainer job, turned ugly. I had people quit, I had to fire some and I had those that had potential (like they had a pulse) but, didn't have anyone to train them properly. I was able to get help from another District Manager and the Owner and we spread out across Kansas and Missourri to ease my pain and allow me to return to my simple life of shuffling around the house, unshaven, in my bunny slippers, tattered bath robe and carrying around my permanently coffee stained coffee cup, filled to the brim with delicious Folgers. (Good to the last drop)
I was fortunate that Janet was able to work close to home most of that time, but the day I got back, she was off for a week of traveling, working 90 hours this past week. (I got stuck mowing the lawn) She ended up in the emergency room with what was probably a spider bite. I watched a lot of "House" and was able to diagnose the problem over the phone. The emergency room doctor concurred and she was able to keep the arm. Of course, she waited until the last minute to seek medical help because, she didn't want to whimp out in front of her employees. She would be like "What! You can't make it to work because you don't feel well! Look at me! I lost an arm and I came right back to work the minute I left the hospital. Could someone hand me a screwdriver? I'm holding this beam up. Yeah, I know I only have one arm, just put it between my toes!"
On June 13, we celebrated the twins 7th birthday. "Cha-ching!!" Then it was our 23rd wedding anniversary on June 16th. "Cha-ching!!" (and they said it wouldn't last) We went out to dinner and a movie. I wanted to take her to a chick-flick to prove my love for her, but they were sold out(darn!) so we had to settle for another type, but I don't remember the title. Actually, to me, there are only 3 titles that are neccessary for any movie. "I'll Love You Forever!" "Hey Kids! Let's put on a Show!" and "Kill 'em All"
I had to be in Springfield, MO. on the 4th of July, so Janet and the twins came out and we had a mini vacation. We went swimming and to a wild animal park. Annie stuck her finger into the animal feed dispenser that had a wasp nest and was stung. The owner seemed very nervous about a potential lawsuit and offered to put on a band-aid. (Good enough for Obama Care)
We went to a restaurant called Lambert's and I highly recommend this place. The food was great home-style cooking and it was all you can eat. The servers come around constantly with more food on a cart to offer and if you want a hot roll, just raise your arm and wave and you can have one tossed from across the room. My one thought was that I would be the one guy to miss the catch, have it knock over a candle and start a chain reaction fire with all the paper towels on the tables. The papers would read that I was the only survivor. I had a running start, because I was chasing my roll. Of course, my favorite part was that it was inexpensive.
I was able to be home on the 5th of July for the celebration of Independence Day at the church. We had a cook out and there was all kinds of activities. It was cold that day, so where it would have normally been a day of getting wet with water, everyone stayed dry.
I enrolled the twins in school (2nd grade) and bought school supplies and Janet bought some school clothes. "Cha-ching!" We had to put new tires on Janet's car and also the water pump went out. "Cha-ching!" Cha-ching!"
Annie and Hallie learned to swim this summer. At the beginning of the summer I was having to hold them in the shallow end of the lake as they kicked their legs and splashed with their arms and now they are diving off the dock at the deep end and swimming.
Felice and Robin have moved out and the youngest daughter, Sabrina, has moved in. Felice is doing very well at her job and Robin will be a Senior in high school this year. Sabrina has a job at a bar called "Champs."
Hopefully, things are settling down, where Janet and I can spend more time together laughing, loving and bickering.
I was fortunate that Janet was able to work close to home most of that time, but the day I got back, she was off for a week of traveling, working 90 hours this past week. (I got stuck mowing the lawn) She ended up in the emergency room with what was probably a spider bite. I watched a lot of "House" and was able to diagnose the problem over the phone. The emergency room doctor concurred and she was able to keep the arm. Of course, she waited until the last minute to seek medical help because, she didn't want to whimp out in front of her employees. She would be like "What! You can't make it to work because you don't feel well! Look at me! I lost an arm and I came right back to work the minute I left the hospital. Could someone hand me a screwdriver? I'm holding this beam up. Yeah, I know I only have one arm, just put it between my toes!"
On June 13, we celebrated the twins 7th birthday. "Cha-ching!!" Then it was our 23rd wedding anniversary on June 16th. "Cha-ching!!" (and they said it wouldn't last) We went out to dinner and a movie. I wanted to take her to a chick-flick to prove my love for her, but they were sold out(darn!) so we had to settle for another type, but I don't remember the title. Actually, to me, there are only 3 titles that are neccessary for any movie. "I'll Love You Forever!" "Hey Kids! Let's put on a Show!" and "Kill 'em All"
I had to be in Springfield, MO. on the 4th of July, so Janet and the twins came out and we had a mini vacation. We went swimming and to a wild animal park. Annie stuck her finger into the animal feed dispenser that had a wasp nest and was stung. The owner seemed very nervous about a potential lawsuit and offered to put on a band-aid. (Good enough for Obama Care)
We went to a restaurant called Lambert's and I highly recommend this place. The food was great home-style cooking and it was all you can eat. The servers come around constantly with more food on a cart to offer and if you want a hot roll, just raise your arm and wave and you can have one tossed from across the room. My one thought was that I would be the one guy to miss the catch, have it knock over a candle and start a chain reaction fire with all the paper towels on the tables. The papers would read that I was the only survivor. I had a running start, because I was chasing my roll. Of course, my favorite part was that it was inexpensive.
I was able to be home on the 5th of July for the celebration of Independence Day at the church. We had a cook out and there was all kinds of activities. It was cold that day, so where it would have normally been a day of getting wet with water, everyone stayed dry.
I enrolled the twins in school (2nd grade) and bought school supplies and Janet bought some school clothes. "Cha-ching!" We had to put new tires on Janet's car and also the water pump went out. "Cha-ching!" Cha-ching!"
Annie and Hallie learned to swim this summer. At the beginning of the summer I was having to hold them in the shallow end of the lake as they kicked their legs and splashed with their arms and now they are diving off the dock at the deep end and swimming.
Felice and Robin have moved out and the youngest daughter, Sabrina, has moved in. Felice is doing very well at her job and Robin will be a Senior in high school this year. Sabrina has a job at a bar called "Champs."
Hopefully, things are settling down, where Janet and I can spend more time together laughing, loving and bickering.
Monday, June 1, 2009
Busy week
Well, I'm back home and off again. I've had someone quit in Hutchinson, KS. (another fallout from the revamped pay structure) and someone in Junction City is on funeral leave. I have to cover these positions until I can hire someone who will work for food. Though this could seem like a real challenge for me, it only ends up being an 8 hour day, with 5 hours of driving. This is only until Thursday and then it's a 6 hour day, which includes 2 hours driving.
School is out for the twins and that makes it so much easier to manage work. I'll take 12 hours picking cotton(I've actually done this) over putting the girls hair up (seems like it takes 12 hours) any day.
Annie and Hallie said they really missed me when I was away. They took turns laying next to me while I was napping(not letting me sleep) and telling me about their week. Hallie wants me to quit my so called job and stay home(a girl after my own heart) The ice cream man will be making a regular run down our street(they know where the sales are) and I am a key player in her obtaining her "Tweety Bird" Popsicle. They run "Mission Ice Cream" in a manner that would make any Special Ops member proud. When they hear the truck music coming from the next county, they stand out in the front yard and wait for visible sighting. When the truck is approximately 6 blocks away, traveling at 5 miles an hour, Annie will wildly wave her arms over her head in a criss-cross manner(she's been eyeing detour signs at the road construction on the other block) and Hallie will race into the house with the urgency of the house on fire and I am to race to the money tree out back and pluck the dollar bills.
Annie is the child of my adopted daughter and is Caucasian. She doesn't know that I am not her biological grandfather. So she was thinking(her favorite things to do) and said to me that she now realizes that she is half Mexican. I asked "Which half?" and she replied "My brown eyes and my stomach, because I like Taco Bell!"(she may be right. I'm the same)
School is out for the twins and that makes it so much easier to manage work. I'll take 12 hours picking cotton(I've actually done this) over putting the girls hair up (seems like it takes 12 hours) any day.
Annie and Hallie said they really missed me when I was away. They took turns laying next to me while I was napping(not letting me sleep) and telling me about their week. Hallie wants me to quit my so called job and stay home(a girl after my own heart) The ice cream man will be making a regular run down our street(they know where the sales are) and I am a key player in her obtaining her "Tweety Bird" Popsicle. They run "Mission Ice Cream" in a manner that would make any Special Ops member proud. When they hear the truck music coming from the next county, they stand out in the front yard and wait for visible sighting. When the truck is approximately 6 blocks away, traveling at 5 miles an hour, Annie will wildly wave her arms over her head in a criss-cross manner(she's been eyeing detour signs at the road construction on the other block) and Hallie will race into the house with the urgency of the house on fire and I am to race to the money tree out back and pluck the dollar bills.
Annie is the child of my adopted daughter and is Caucasian. She doesn't know that I am not her biological grandfather. So she was thinking(her favorite things to do) and said to me that she now realizes that she is half Mexican. I asked "Which half?" and she replied "My brown eyes and my stomach, because I like Taco Bell!"(she may be right. I'm the same)
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Back to Springfield
Well, I'm back in Springfield, MO. I received a call at 1am from the crew supervisor informing me that everyone was quiting because of the changes to the pay structure. (don't they read the papers? In this economy, they're supposed to be afraid of leaving a job) So I left Friday evening, letting Janet know that I could be gone all week.(PARTY!!!)
We were having a back yard B-B-Q this weekend, so I showed her the inner workings of the grill and gave her some of my grilling techniques.(she didn't care much for tossing the match from 10 feet back and watching the mushroom cloud form) (my eyebrows have almost grown back) I also had told the twins that we could possibly go swimming at the lake, but Janet pacified them with the Slip & Slide.
I couldn't find a hotel room right away when I arrived around midnight. I had tried 3 places before finding a Super 8 with 1 room left.(I feel another ad coming on)
We were having a back yard B-B-Q this weekend, so I showed her the inner workings of the grill and gave her some of my grilling techniques.(she didn't care much for tossing the match from 10 feet back and watching the mushroom cloud form) (my eyebrows have almost grown back) I also had told the twins that we could possibly go swimming at the lake, but Janet pacified them with the Slip & Slide.
I couldn't find a hotel room right away when I arrived around midnight. I had tried 3 places before finding a Super 8 with 1 room left.(I feel another ad coming on)
SUPER 8
The place to stay for a good nights rest
(if the rest stop on the highway is full)
We'll leave the (flickering)light on for you
The sign on the front door said that the door is locked and to please ring the night bell for service. Well the door wasn't locked, so I walked right on in and rang the bell at the front desk. A big woman with great, big, charging rhinoceros thighs came storming out of the office. "How did you get in here ?" she bellowed. Two things came to mind to say. Put my cell phone up to my mouth and say "Dammit Scotty! You beamed onto the Klingons bridge" or hold out my hand and say "I'm from the future. Come with me if you want to live." Instead, I looked back at the door and said "Someone left the door unlocked, but I won't tell if you give me a room."
So, I have my room with the rattling air conditioner and the coffee maker without a pot, but at least I can get rested and I hope to hire people by the end of the week.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
The Tooth Fairy
Janet is coming home today and I am soooo happy. We'll pick her up at the airport(the twins used to call it the hairport)this afternoon. She already knows about the gum in Annie's hair.(I didn't think anyone read this blog) She calls and asks how much of the former story is true.(how could she even think that I would embelish our lives, now she should get back to water boarding those detainees)
I told her how Hallie had lost a tooth at school. The school nurse put the tooth in a little pink, plastic treasure chest and put the chest in a baggie. Hallie was so excited about getting her $2 from the Tooth Fairy.($2!!! I only got a dime when I was a kid and then my Dad would want it back to buy bread or for gasoline or poker)(I liked it when it was for poker because, then, he would throw a quarter to me if he won)
Hallie was running in and out of the house with her baggie to show all of her friends and I was afraid that she would lose it, so I insisted that I keep it in my pocket to keep it safe, because she is an irresponsible little kid and I am the all knowing responsible adult. Well, naturally I lost it.
I had it in my front pocket and after dinner(I made burritos. which included my world famous salsa)I went to the convenience store for Felice, to buy cigarettes.(she doesn't like to go because they no longer ask to see her I.D.) I put the money she gave me in the same pocket as the baggie, so I must have lost it when I pulled the money out.
Well, Hallie asked for her tooth to put under her pillow and you know how that goes; I reach into my pocket and no baggie. Nothing is in my pocket, but I keep moving my hand around like I'm searching in a fully packed duffle bag and Hallie is looking at me with out stretched hand and anticipating blue eyes. Then panic sets in(yeah, don't expect me be the guy that has to defuse a bomb with 30 seconds left) and I'm looking in every pocket, patting my pants leg and shirt, around my belly.(Yeah, I could have stuck it down my shirt, thinking that I was hiding my secret salsa recipe). I check my wallet, checkbook, bedroom, under the bed, trash can and no luck.
So, Hallie and I head for the convenience store, which is a Quik Trip. (this is a free plug. If I could get people to read my blog, then maybe I could sell ads for QT)(The blog stories would be: I woke up & went to QT to get coffee and then filled up with gas at QT and at lunch I bought a tasty hot dog & refreshing drink at QT and I saw my friend, Bill, who works at QT and that evening, my ageing daughter asked me to buy cigarettes at QT, so I made a "QUIK TRIP" to QT.)We looked around the parking lot and then went inside. I asked the clerks if they had seen a baggie with a tiny, plastic, red treasure chest inside and they looked around their feet and I told them that I hadn't jumped over the counter and so we looked around the store and still no luck.
We left with lowered lips and as we got to the car, Hallie brightened up and said "PaPa!(she calls me that, Robin calls me G-Pa.)"We have to go back in!" and runs back. I'm thinking that this is just like the movies, where the heroine sees something that puts the puzzle together and the mystery will be solved and I hope she's with me when I have to defuse the bomb.
We run into the store and Hallie says. "It wasn't a red box! It was a PINK box."(well, at least she would make sure that I cut the right colored wire)
So, to make a long story even longer, she wrote a note to the Tooth Fairy, explaining how she had lost the tooth(I love this girl, she didn't throw me under the bus)and would the Tooth Fairy please leave her an extra dollar(I guess for pain and suffering).
So this morning Hallie had three crumpled $1 bills under her pillow and Annie was thinking "What if, from this point on, PaPa always lost our teeth."
I told her how Hallie had lost a tooth at school. The school nurse put the tooth in a little pink, plastic treasure chest and put the chest in a baggie. Hallie was so excited about getting her $2 from the Tooth Fairy.($2!!! I only got a dime when I was a kid and then my Dad would want it back to buy bread or for gasoline or poker)(I liked it when it was for poker because, then, he would throw a quarter to me if he won)
Hallie was running in and out of the house with her baggie to show all of her friends and I was afraid that she would lose it, so I insisted that I keep it in my pocket to keep it safe, because she is an irresponsible little kid and I am the all knowing responsible adult. Well, naturally I lost it.
I had it in my front pocket and after dinner(I made burritos. which included my world famous salsa)I went to the convenience store for Felice, to buy cigarettes.(she doesn't like to go because they no longer ask to see her I.D.) I put the money she gave me in the same pocket as the baggie, so I must have lost it when I pulled the money out.
Well, Hallie asked for her tooth to put under her pillow and you know how that goes; I reach into my pocket and no baggie. Nothing is in my pocket, but I keep moving my hand around like I'm searching in a fully packed duffle bag and Hallie is looking at me with out stretched hand and anticipating blue eyes. Then panic sets in(yeah, don't expect me be the guy that has to defuse a bomb with 30 seconds left) and I'm looking in every pocket, patting my pants leg and shirt, around my belly.(Yeah, I could have stuck it down my shirt, thinking that I was hiding my secret salsa recipe). I check my wallet, checkbook, bedroom, under the bed, trash can and no luck.
So, Hallie and I head for the convenience store, which is a Quik Trip. (this is a free plug. If I could get people to read my blog, then maybe I could sell ads for QT)(The blog stories would be: I woke up & went to QT to get coffee and then filled up with gas at QT and at lunch I bought a tasty hot dog & refreshing drink at QT and I saw my friend, Bill, who works at QT and that evening, my ageing daughter asked me to buy cigarettes at QT, so I made a "QUIK TRIP" to QT.)We looked around the parking lot and then went inside. I asked the clerks if they had seen a baggie with a tiny, plastic, red treasure chest inside and they looked around their feet and I told them that I hadn't jumped over the counter and so we looked around the store and still no luck.
We left with lowered lips and as we got to the car, Hallie brightened up and said "PaPa!(she calls me that, Robin calls me G-Pa.)"We have to go back in!" and runs back. I'm thinking that this is just like the movies, where the heroine sees something that puts the puzzle together and the mystery will be solved and I hope she's with me when I have to defuse the bomb.
We run into the store and Hallie says. "It wasn't a red box! It was a PINK box."(well, at least she would make sure that I cut the right colored wire)
So, to make a long story even longer, she wrote a note to the Tooth Fairy, explaining how she had lost the tooth(I love this girl, she didn't throw me under the bus)and would the Tooth Fairy please leave her an extra dollar(I guess for pain and suffering).
So this morning Hallie had three crumpled $1 bills under her pillow and Annie was thinking "What if, from this point on, PaPa always lost our teeth."
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Home alone with the kids
Janet is in Tampa, Florida for 4 days on a training mission and I am left to mind the twins. Because my job gives me some flexibility, I'm able to get them on the school bus and be home when they arrive from school. The arrive part doesn't always work out. I had problems with one of my accounts a couple of times and had to drive Junction City, KS. a couple of times, which is a couple of hours away. Luckily we have back up (aunts, uncle, mother-in-law, neighbor,the guy who gives out candy, etc.)
Aunt Felice will not let their friend, Jaysa, come over to play, because she doesn't want to be responsible for someone's kid, when she doesn't know the mother and doesn't want the mother to come storming over with accusations of irresponsibility if something were to happen to the child.(that and "Desperate Housewives" is on)
So, I pull into the driveway and Annie is at the window, with her mouth impossibly wide open, crying "I want Jaaaaaay...saaaaaaaa" Maybe she thinks Jasa's mom will hear her cries and come rushing right over with waivers so that Felice will watch her daughter.
Then Hallie says " Annie, lets play on the trampoline"(formerly called the jumpoline) and also Annie sees that I'm chewing gum and asks for a piece. So it's "Jaysa who?"
As I'm cooking dinner(cooking is not in Felice's contract)Annie comes in with about 3 lbs. of gum stuck in her hair. It's in there good and I have no idea on how to remove it without cutting it. So I grab the scissors and Felice yells "NOooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!"
Now Felice always has these home remedies(I know. Why didn't I ask her before I grabed the scissors)She informs me that peanut butter applied to the gum and hair will make it possible to comb the gum out. I found that hard to believe and so did Annie because, while Felice was in the pantry trying to decide between Jiffy and Peter Pan, Annie grabed the scissors and snip!
Oh Felice was furious!(good thing Jaysa wasn't here) I calmed her down(Janet's not home yet, so I needed the practice)and asked her to show me how it's done using the big chunk of hair and gum that Annie had left. Well that made her happy that she could now demonstrate this miracle and well, I don't know, it didn't seem to work that well.(maybe it still needs to be attached to the scalp)
So, anyway, Annie went out back to play, I continued cooking and Felice decided to have a peanut butter sandwich while she waited for dinner. Well, she ment to have one. The 5 inch long hair that she pulled from her mouth after her first bite, changed her mind.
Aunt Felice will not let their friend, Jaysa, come over to play, because she doesn't want to be responsible for someone's kid, when she doesn't know the mother and doesn't want the mother to come storming over with accusations of irresponsibility if something were to happen to the child.(that and "Desperate Housewives" is on)
So, I pull into the driveway and Annie is at the window, with her mouth impossibly wide open, crying "I want Jaaaaaay...saaaaaaaa" Maybe she thinks Jasa's mom will hear her cries and come rushing right over with waivers so that Felice will watch her daughter.
Then Hallie says " Annie, lets play on the trampoline"(formerly called the jumpoline) and also Annie sees that I'm chewing gum and asks for a piece. So it's "Jaysa who?"
As I'm cooking dinner(cooking is not in Felice's contract)Annie comes in with about 3 lbs. of gum stuck in her hair. It's in there good and I have no idea on how to remove it without cutting it. So I grab the scissors and Felice yells "NOooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!"
Now Felice always has these home remedies(I know. Why didn't I ask her before I grabed the scissors)She informs me that peanut butter applied to the gum and hair will make it possible to comb the gum out. I found that hard to believe and so did Annie because, while Felice was in the pantry trying to decide between Jiffy and Peter Pan, Annie grabed the scissors and snip!
Oh Felice was furious!(good thing Jaysa wasn't here) I calmed her down(Janet's not home yet, so I needed the practice)and asked her to show me how it's done using the big chunk of hair and gum that Annie had left. Well that made her happy that she could now demonstrate this miracle and well, I don't know, it didn't seem to work that well.(maybe it still needs to be attached to the scalp)
So, anyway, Annie went out back to play, I continued cooking and Felice decided to have a peanut butter sandwich while she waited for dinner. Well, she ment to have one. The 5 inch long hair that she pulled from her mouth after her first bite, changed her mind.
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Tornado night
Friday night was Tornado night.(we usually have Family night, but this was much more exciting). We knew a big storm was set to come thru and the local weather stations were interrupting about the possibilities of tornados. The twins(6 yrs.) were at the ready.(They'd seen the movie "Twister" a dozen times) Hallie was preparing for the end of days, carrying things to the basement that would be essential to our survival for at least 2 years. The inventory may sound like I'm joking, but I'm not. Let's see, there were 2 bags of potatoes, 9 cans of vegetables, 4 bags of cereal, a three year old can of yams, crackers, pop tarts(the generic kind, but in the fight for suvival, you can't be picky) toys, a carrying bag of clothing and a 15 lb. bag of cat food.(The dogs would have to tough it out) Oh. also the crock pot. While Annie played her blow up guitar to Hannah Montana.
So, we proceeded to tear up Felice's room(she is staying with us for a while). She's living in the dark, dank basement. Everyone sat on the couch(Felice's bed) and watched "Entertainment Tonight" while the lighting flashed and the thunder thundered.
The Mexican dinner I was planning was put on hold(I haven't figured out how make Huevos Rancheros in a crock pot) so, we had ham sandwiches, chips and cat food.
After the all clear, we went back upstairs(the tornado had been 15 miles away moving away from us). Hallie started hauling things back upstairs and Annie went back to the blow up guitar.
The next day the girls had a childrens choir practice to attend, but couldn't find socks. Hallie had taken her entire sock drawer down to the basement and had forgotten to bring it up.
So, we proceeded to tear up Felice's room(she is staying with us for a while). She's living in the dark, dank basement. Everyone sat on the couch(Felice's bed) and watched "Entertainment Tonight" while the lighting flashed and the thunder thundered.
The Mexican dinner I was planning was put on hold(I haven't figured out how make Huevos Rancheros in a crock pot) so, we had ham sandwiches, chips and cat food.
After the all clear, we went back upstairs(the tornado had been 15 miles away moving away from us). Hallie started hauling things back upstairs and Annie went back to the blow up guitar.
The next day the girls had a childrens choir practice to attend, but couldn't find socks. Hallie had taken her entire sock drawer down to the basement and had forgotten to bring it up.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Animal intro
My oldest daughter, Felice, is staying with us along with her daughter, Robin, until closing time on their new house. I stuck them down in the dank basement, because she didn't want to be in the way.(my 1st thought was under the bridge about a mile from here.) She brought along her two dogs Odie and Coco(or is it Co-Coa)(whatever it is, it's ugly).
Now I already have three dogs(did I mention that I don't like dogs)When I first met Janet I told her that I didn't care much (hated) dogs, cats and kids. So, when God heard this, I ended up with 4 kids, 10 grandkids, 5 dogs, 1 cat(thank you cat for keeping it under control)(I always forget his name, so I call him Cat)
I inherited all these animals and have grown to like them(tolerate). Like my kids and grandkids, they tended to grow on me.
Fox was the first dog of this bunch( sheltie and something else mix)My youngest daughter, Sabrina, found him standing in the rain one day after little league was cancelled and snuck him into the van. She begged to let him stay and promised to feed and care for him. That was 12 years ago........ and is he hungry.
The 2nd dog is Domingo(Yorkie) that my wife had to have to compensate for her empty nest syndrome(they came back). That dog was always running out the door and I could just see that stack of hundred dollar bills getting hit by a car. One day he ran out when the littlest grand-kid opened the door and was gone for 4 months(and so was the dog). Janet was devastated, but I kept telling her that I thought someone took the collar off of the stack of money and kept him, but that one day he would make his escape. Sure enough(that sounds so Andy Griffith)4 months later, he comes streaking down the street, into the house and onto the cat(they wrestle all the time) Rollie is the 3rd dog to enter our lives. She is a Min-Pin and my son, Jon, brought her over, along with her puppies, because he had no place to keep them.(shoot, I forgot to make him promise to feed them) Rollie actually grins and that's kind of creepy.
Then there is the cat and I don't quite know where he came from, but I've been told that we've had him for a couple of years. He doesn't use a litter box. He goes outside, when the dogs go out and meows at 3am when he wants in.
Fox is getting on in years and he thinks I'm his person, because he follows me constantly and lays at my feet. I feel sorry for him when I'm working at home, because I'll go downstairs to my office, and he follows me. Then we'll get to the bottom and I remember that I forgot(how does that work?)my cup of coffee, so up the stairs we go and when I get to the top I'm like, "Oh, I left my coffee stained cup downstairs!" and the dog is looking at me with pleading eyes and saying(yes, he speaks perfect english, but needs work on his spanish) "Is that all? Anything else? I'm tired!"
Well, I have come to love these dogs(even the visitors), especially Fox. I've just seen the movie, "Marley and Me" and I will miss that dog (Fox)when he's gone.
Now I already have three dogs(did I mention that I don't like dogs)When I first met Janet I told her that I didn't care much (hated) dogs, cats and kids. So, when God heard this, I ended up with 4 kids, 10 grandkids, 5 dogs, 1 cat(thank you cat for keeping it under control)(I always forget his name, so I call him Cat)
I inherited all these animals and have grown to like them(tolerate). Like my kids and grandkids, they tended to grow on me.
Fox was the first dog of this bunch( sheltie and something else mix)My youngest daughter, Sabrina, found him standing in the rain one day after little league was cancelled and snuck him into the van. She begged to let him stay and promised to feed and care for him. That was 12 years ago........ and is he hungry.
The 2nd dog is Domingo(Yorkie) that my wife had to have to compensate for her empty nest syndrome(they came back). That dog was always running out the door and I could just see that stack of hundred dollar bills getting hit by a car. One day he ran out when the littlest grand-kid opened the door and was gone for 4 months(and so was the dog). Janet was devastated, but I kept telling her that I thought someone took the collar off of the stack of money and kept him, but that one day he would make his escape. Sure enough(that sounds so Andy Griffith)4 months later, he comes streaking down the street, into the house and onto the cat(they wrestle all the time) Rollie is the 3rd dog to enter our lives. She is a Min-Pin and my son, Jon, brought her over, along with her puppies, because he had no place to keep them.(shoot, I forgot to make him promise to feed them) Rollie actually grins and that's kind of creepy.
Then there is the cat and I don't quite know where he came from, but I've been told that we've had him for a couple of years. He doesn't use a litter box. He goes outside, when the dogs go out and meows at 3am when he wants in.
Fox is getting on in years and he thinks I'm his person, because he follows me constantly and lays at my feet. I feel sorry for him when I'm working at home, because I'll go downstairs to my office, and he follows me. Then we'll get to the bottom and I remember that I forgot(how does that work?)my cup of coffee, so up the stairs we go and when I get to the top I'm like, "Oh, I left my coffee stained cup downstairs!" and the dog is looking at me with pleading eyes and saying(yes, he speaks perfect english, but needs work on his spanish) "Is that all? Anything else? I'm tired!"
Well, I have come to love these dogs(even the visitors), especially Fox. I've just seen the movie, "Marley and Me" and I will miss that dog (Fox)when he's gone.
Monday, May 11, 2009
Mothers Day
On Saturday I drove to Springfield, MO. to train a new employee. It's a 5 hour drive and I drive at night, but I really enjoy the time to myself and it's very relaxing (well, except for the deer, possums, skunks and axe wielding men with a 6-pack of Bud-Light that seem to jump out at cars on these 2 lane state highways.)I decided not to spend the night and drove back around 3am(more animals, more axe wielding men) so that I could be home for Mother's Day.
My kids are grown, but we're raising 2 grandkids, so it's back to treating Janet as the Queen and spending a small fortune so that Annie and Hallie can show their love (just kidding about the small fortune)(no, I'm not)(yes, I am)(no, I'm not)(YES, I AM) The kids had picked out and had given flowers to her and she really appreciated them. She told me later that she had really wanted flowers to plant in her garden.(six year olds can be so uncaring)
We all went to church and, of course, it was a Mother's Day theme. There were mothers, grand-mothers, mother's-in-law, to-be mothers and a bad mother(SHUT YOUR MOUTH)(I'm talkin' 'bout Shaft)(THEN WE CAN DIG IT)
Then we went to lunch. Janet bought lunch for her mother(which I paid for), Annie and Hallie bought lunch for their grand-mother(which I paid for) and my father-in-law had lunch(which......I........paid..........for!!!) That last line was for a laugh, I could never repay my father-in -law for all he has done for us.
Then we topped off her day with a gift of which every mother was envious. We took her to see STAR TREK (but, she did enjoy it) and the kids took her to "play McDonald's" after the movie.(but, she did enjoy it)
(NO I'M NOT!)
My kids are grown, but we're raising 2 grandkids, so it's back to treating Janet as the Queen and spending a small fortune so that Annie and Hallie can show their love (just kidding about the small fortune)(no, I'm not)(yes, I am)(no, I'm not)(YES, I AM) The kids had picked out and had given flowers to her and she really appreciated them. She told me later that she had really wanted flowers to plant in her garden.(six year olds can be so uncaring)
We all went to church and, of course, it was a Mother's Day theme. There were mothers, grand-mothers, mother's-in-law, to-be mothers and a bad mother(SHUT YOUR MOUTH)(I'm talkin' 'bout Shaft)(THEN WE CAN DIG IT)
Then we went to lunch. Janet bought lunch for her mother(which I paid for), Annie and Hallie bought lunch for their grand-mother(which I paid for) and my father-in-law had lunch(which......I........paid..........for!!!) That last line was for a laugh, I could never repay my father-in -law for all he has done for us.
Then we topped off her day with a gift of which every mother was envious. We took her to see STAR TREK (but, she did enjoy it) and the kids took her to "play McDonald's" after the movie.(but, she did enjoy it)
(NO I'M NOT!)
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Field trip to the zoo
Janet and I are raising twin grand-daughters. Annie and Hallie are in 1st grade. They get the giggles when I tell them how I didn't know the alphabet (or as we called it, the ABC song) and how I was held back in 2nd grade. (kept getting stuck on L-M-N)( my dad smoked L & M cigarettes so.....) This gives them hope (I hope) that if I could manage to make it to 3rd grade, then they have a chance.
They begged me (us) to volunteer as chaperones for a field trip to the zoo, and because we work from home and set our own schedules to a degree and had forgotten what it was like to manage a group of 6 yr olds (like herding chickens) we found ourselves herding chickens(like managing 6 yr olds)
I'll be right up front and say that I do not like to go to the zoo. I used to go but all I ever saw were lumps of fur sticking out of bushes(look over there, I saw a lizard on a rock twitch) However, today the animals were moving around, running, growling , eating, jumping and there was even a lizard twitching. (I lied before about seeing a lizard twitch)
We came upon a pond of fish and ducks and all of sudden a snake about 5ft long came swimming across and slithered up to the ground. I thought that was pretty cool. Then I thought, "Wait a minute. Shouldn't it be in a cage?" So it was a snake that had wondered into the zoo(as if it could have consciously decided to visit)and now the kids were running up to pet it and I didn't have a knife to cut the bite and suck out the venom. (or even the desire) So they were stopped and directed to the petting zoo. we saw goats, sheep, cows, horses, but not one pig.
We got the kids on the bus safely. (I glad I didn't have to explain to Jesse's mother how her daughter was inside the Rino pen) and when I got home, it was a 2 hour nap for me.
When I awoke I was still too tired to cook, so it was off to KFC with my "free grilled chicken" coupons. They were not accepting them , but that's another story.
They begged me (us) to volunteer as chaperones for a field trip to the zoo, and because we work from home and set our own schedules to a degree and had forgotten what it was like to manage a group of 6 yr olds (like herding chickens) we found ourselves herding chickens(like managing 6 yr olds)
I'll be right up front and say that I do not like to go to the zoo. I used to go but all I ever saw were lumps of fur sticking out of bushes(look over there, I saw a lizard on a rock twitch) However, today the animals were moving around, running, growling , eating, jumping and there was even a lizard twitching. (I lied before about seeing a lizard twitch)
We came upon a pond of fish and ducks and all of sudden a snake about 5ft long came swimming across and slithered up to the ground. I thought that was pretty cool. Then I thought, "Wait a minute. Shouldn't it be in a cage?" So it was a snake that had wondered into the zoo(as if it could have consciously decided to visit)and now the kids were running up to pet it and I didn't have a knife to cut the bite and suck out the venom. (or even the desire) So they were stopped and directed to the petting zoo. we saw goats, sheep, cows, horses, but not one pig.
We got the kids on the bus safely. (I glad I didn't have to explain to Jesse's mother how her daughter was inside the Rino pen) and when I got home, it was a 2 hour nap for me.
When I awoke I was still too tired to cook, so it was off to KFC with my "free grilled chicken" coupons. They were not accepting them , but that's another story.
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Errands and Laundry
Janet and I had to run errands today during lunch. Actually, she had to run the errand and I went along for lunch. We had our son along with us. He had stopped by to do his laundry and well, as long as we're going to lunch. He waited in the car while we were in the bank. Janet had taken the keys and had left the automatic windows up and cars parked on both sides, so he couldn't open the doors all the way to let fresh air in.(today was a warm day)
Now he's 28 not 5, so I wasn't too worried about being hauled off for child endangerment although he acted as if we trying to get rid of him to save the wear & tear on our washer. I don't know why he just didn't come into the bank(the bailout money allowed them to fix the air conditioning), unless he thought we were there for a hold up and he couldn't get involved in that. (he still had his laundry to think about)
I just had the appliance repairman over(you know, cup of tea and chit chat)on Monday to fix a leak. $142.oo!!! I told him to just wait until I become skilled at something and he needs my services.(I'm thinking maybe an appliance parts clerk)
Now he's 28 not 5, so I wasn't too worried about being hauled off for child endangerment although he acted as if we trying to get rid of him to save the wear & tear on our washer. I don't know why he just didn't come into the bank(the bailout money allowed them to fix the air conditioning), unless he thought we were there for a hold up and he couldn't get involved in that. (he still had his laundry to think about)
I just had the appliance repairman over(you know, cup of tea and chit chat)on Monday to fix a leak. $142.oo!!! I told him to just wait until I become skilled at something and he needs my services.(I'm thinking maybe an appliance parts clerk)
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Cooking and Fishing
My grand-daughter, Robin, asked if I was going to cook a dish she likes of chicken and potatoes. My twin grand-daughters, Annie & Hallie, wanted to go fishing again. My wife, Janet, was driving in from out of town. I decided to do both at once. I preped the meal and stuck it in the oven and off we went to the lake behind our house.
Some call it a pond. They said if you can throw a stone across then it's a pond, because a pond is smaller than a lake. I can't throw a stone across, but, then again, I can barley make the softball across the plate in slow pitch. And since Lake Erie is 21,000 sq. miles smaller than Lake Superior, should we call it the Erie Pond.
Anyhow, we didn't catch fish(I'm a lousy student or Robin's not cut out to be a fishing instructor) I think I'm thru with fishing for a while.
Janet showed up and finished the meal I started.
I'm always stealing her recepies and changing things a little. When she notices me doing something different she says "That's not how I do it." and I answer "I know." I know that I'm asking for it and she knows that I'm asking for it, but then where would she find a wonderful guy like me that cooks & cleans.
The meal came out terrible. Janet said it was because of the spices left out, but I'm leaning towards the parsly.
Some call it a pond. They said if you can throw a stone across then it's a pond, because a pond is smaller than a lake. I can't throw a stone across, but, then again, I can barley make the softball across the plate in slow pitch. And since Lake Erie is 21,000 sq. miles smaller than Lake Superior, should we call it the Erie Pond.
Anyhow, we didn't catch fish(I'm a lousy student or Robin's not cut out to be a fishing instructor) I think I'm thru with fishing for a while.
Janet showed up and finished the meal I started.
I'm always stealing her recepies and changing things a little. When she notices me doing something different she says "That's not how I do it." and I answer "I know." I know that I'm asking for it and she knows that I'm asking for it, but then where would she find a wonderful guy like me that cooks & cleans.
The meal came out terrible. Janet said it was because of the spices left out, but I'm leaning towards the parsly.
Monday, May 4, 2009
Fishing
Wow, this is exciting. My first blog and I'm finger-tied. After 4 hours I've gotten this far.
The photo doesn't do me justice, I'm a much better looking silhouette.
It's 2 in the morning and I have to get up early to get my twin grand daughters ready for school, so I'll just keep this short for now.
I was born a poor Mexican kid(as opossed to an adult) in the mid-west and now, I am older.
My daughter taught me how to buy fish bait today and my 16 yr. old granddaughter taught me how to fish.
I've seen others fish and often wonder what they think about as they sit on the bank. I think they are like me, trying to will the fish to take the bait. I'm watching the bobber (is it bob or bobber?) and muttering "Come ooonnnn.......take the bait." Like I'm at the craps table. "Come ooonnn..........7". Well I've never played craps, but I've played Yahtzee.
So I've always heard that fishing is supposed to be relaxing, but trying Jedi mind tricks on fish didn't relax me and catching 2 tree branches was frustrating and getting my line caught in a tree limb was bewildering and I caught a fish, but couldn't get the hook out.
By the way, I've also heard that fish have no feelings in their mouths, so the hook doesn't cause pain. I swear, that as I was trying for 10 minutes to take out the hook(I would throw it back in the water every minute so it could catch it's breath) It was saying "Ow,ow,ow,hurts,ow,ow!"
The photo doesn't do me justice, I'm a much better looking silhouette.
It's 2 in the morning and I have to get up early to get my twin grand daughters ready for school, so I'll just keep this short for now.
I was born a poor Mexican kid(as opossed to an adult) in the mid-west and now, I am older.
My daughter taught me how to buy fish bait today and my 16 yr. old granddaughter taught me how to fish.
I've seen others fish and often wonder what they think about as they sit on the bank. I think they are like me, trying to will the fish to take the bait. I'm watching the bobber (is it bob or bobber?) and muttering "Come ooonnnn.......take the bait." Like I'm at the craps table. "Come ooonnn..........7". Well I've never played craps, but I've played Yahtzee.
So I've always heard that fishing is supposed to be relaxing, but trying Jedi mind tricks on fish didn't relax me and catching 2 tree branches was frustrating and getting my line caught in a tree limb was bewildering and I caught a fish, but couldn't get the hook out.
By the way, I've also heard that fish have no feelings in their mouths, so the hook doesn't cause pain. I swear, that as I was trying for 10 minutes to take out the hook(I would throw it back in the water every minute so it could catch it's breath) It was saying "Ow,ow,ow,hurts,ow,ow!"
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